Tag Archives: Diddy Riese

Cookie Shop Lady

I go through these food obsession cycles.  One day, I just need to eat a certain thing, over, and over, and over.

I’ve been doing it since I was little. For example, The Month of Tuna.

I asked for tuna sandwiches for every meal. Without fail. And I ate them. And I liked it.  Since then I have been doing this with various foods: avocados, jamba juice, lentils, black beans, and matzo balls. (Matzoh? Matza? I can’t get an answer on this.)

Most recently, the obsession was with cookies. Granted, these cookies are actually famous, so I’m not alone in this rite of passage. These cookies are so famous, in fact, that the line always wraps around the block.

 

I was waiting in line.

 

I was being my typical self. Pretending to be absentminded but truly people-watching to an awkwardly intense degree. There was this family in front of me dressed really nicely. Every few minutes a boy would start humming a song and the girl next to him would join in. Soon the whole family was singing under their breath. Suddenly someone would look around and pretend to be embarrassed (no one was actually watching) and they’d laugh. This went on for 30 minutes, it was such a warm experience.

 

The family left.

 

There was a couple doing couple things in front of me. She was talking. He was listening. That involved kind of listening boys do in the first 6 months of the relationship. The one where they taste your words. They aren’t actually listening, they’re just memorizing the way your mouth moves, you know?

The girl in the couple got self conscious. She looked at me and stiffened, as if I was being judgemental or weird.

 

I gave them privacy.

 

The woman behind me was rather close to me. Whisper distance. People don’t stand closely to each other in Los Angeles. Not the way they do in other cities.

 

In other countries.

  

She was writing in her book. Such a student thing to do, I thought. She was on the older side and no undergrad at UCLA does their readings. She must be a graduate student. Too cutesy to be a professor though.

 

Yes, too cutesy.

 

She snaps, “Give us some room!” to the boy behind her. He’s my age. I feel uncomfortable that she included me in her accusation. She sound protective, though. I like that. It’s kind of her.

 

She continues changing her body language to being more and more defensive. She’s making a wall between me and this boy, and she’s turning so that her rear is facing away from him.

“Ugh, this guy is totally on top of us,” she grumbles. (I love the word, “grumble”.) I laugh.

 

“Yeah, huh?” I’m clearly a witty conversationalist.

 

We begin talking. She tells me he pinched her butt. Multiple times. I agree that that is strange. We begin talking. She asks me what I study. (World Arts & Cultures) She collects art. Have I heard of Mr. Brainwash? (I’m insulted she even asked.) Do I know of unique galleries? (You bet! Wait, only like 1.) She does location and art scouting, too.

Aren’t these cookies great? Here’s my card, email me the name of that gallery.

 

I do.

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